There’s a common theme in many of the inspirational quotes I see floating around the internet. Typed in over a warm picture of an ocean sunset…”Do what makes you happy”, “You deserve to be happy”, and the cliché “be happy”.
Simple, right? Just do, just be.
The problem with this is that many of us think “yeah, that sounds right, I should be happy”. So, in a sense, a free pass is given. This pursuit of happiness justifies what we want to be doing at any moment. Thinking of your happiness turns out to be glorified selfishness.
You know what makes me happy?? Binge watching Netflix and cinnamon rolls.
By resolving to just ‘be happy’ pretty much translates to whatever makes us numb. There are the common ones: just one more pair of shoes, just a few more drinks, or just a different relationship. Then there are the ones masked in success: just one more promotion, just one more adventure, or just a few more followers.
These things may not be bad in themselves. It’s really anything we use to distract us from actually dealing with our insides.
It’s no secret we live in a time where instant gratification is the norm. I got a new phone because my old one got slow. Now it’s taking ‘too long’ to learn my new phone…which is equally as frustrating.
I was happy when I got my phone. A day later, I was not.
Clearly, happiness shouldn’t be what we strive for here. The goal will not be attained. It’s a hard habit to break, a never ending merry-go-round.
What we need to be going after is wholeness.
No one can just “be whole”, but we all deserve it. Becoming whole means we work on things broken, things that are damaged. From my experience, it gets worse before it gets better. Digging into yourself is not happy. It’s cleaning out wounds before they can heal.
But the freedom that comes from the work, the time, the tears…is absolutely breathtaking. You get to know yourself, in turn, you can call out what isn’t actually serving you and leave it behind.
Which, ironically, results in happy.
Take care, you.
At the beginning of each year, I find my feeds filled with people posting about new promises they are making for the rest of the year.
More exercise, less weight.
More adventure, less TV.
More reading, less scrolling.
More money, less stuff.
These are all wonderful things to strive after, and it is so encouraging when I see people follow through. But more often than not, some months go by (or less) and these goals fall flat.
For years I had resolved to not even put down any resolution. It was too overwhelming. It was too much of a low when I failed. It was just too much. Those who struggle with anxiety or depression, New Year goals can drag us down into a pit that’s pretty difficult to get out of and it can loom over our heads the rest of the year.
What I DID do throughout all of those years is something that, at an early age, I had made a habit. Something that, I believe, should be the number one resolution on everyone’s list.
Go get a journal and a comfy pen. Put them on your nightstand. Before you fall asleep, write for 10 minutes.
Put all your stuff down on that paper. Get it all out. All of the angst and all of the joy. All of the failures and all of the victories.
A few have told me “but I’m not a writer, it doesn’t come as naturally to me, and I actually hate writing”. I’m not saying you have to write a novel or start up a blog. I’m just suggesting a few scribbles a day. I have not met a therapist that has not suggested this.
This is why…
We cannot healthily, wholly achieve our goals if we don’t deal with what is built up inside. If you don’t get that stuff out, everything else will fall short.
Remember, people can seem successful on the outside and still not be a flourishing person beneath the surface.
So, this year, make writing a habit. You will become more in tune to what your body is telling you, what your patterns are, what is healthy for you. Because…what is good for others may not be good for you to run after this year. Let yourself have ‘mental health’ days. Re-evaluate how you treat yourself.
Be sure to download my free ebook “Come up For Air: 14 Days to Unearthing Your Strengths”, if you haven’t already.
It’s my gift to start you out on this writing journey!
Happy New Year.
Take care, you.
Contrary to my personality, I actually really enjoy throwing parties. And this one was much anticipated.
I got the fancy cheese and wine, along with my made-from-scratch brownies. Some close friends showed up with treats and gifts.
There was so much work to do after the actual launch. As with any dream to be chased, there are always goals to be met, one after another. But your dreams can easily be thwarted if you don’t allow yourself to breathe and acknowledge how far you have come.
And although I have some miles to go, I am so excited I am finally here. I hope I can inspire you too as we walk through this together. There are so many successful people out there that are so encouraging, but you can still be left with the question…”Yeah, but how?” What does it take in those first few years?
So I’m here, laying it all out. The first thing I’ve come to realize is this…
We need people.
These people, and so many others, helped me carry the weight of getting a business together this past year…by supporting, encouraging and showing up for me. It is so important to have people in your corner, to intentionally lean on and lift each other up.
AND then to celebrate victories with and this is what the night was all about!
I am so excited for this journey with you all!
To show my gratitude to you all who are here with me at the start of all this, I am giving away a “Self-love Care Package” on Instagram! Go check it out!
PS. Have you heard about my eBook? “Come Up For Air” takes you through 14 short days to unearth your strengths. And right now, you can have it for free!