There is a lie that has been swirling around, most likely since the beginning of time…that spending any time on yourself is completely selfish. You have way too much to do, there are too many demands on you everyday, too many people who depend on you. There is no time to even consider what you might be needing for yourself.
What’s worse is that this notion has become a bit idolized “I’m a busy person, I’ve got responsibility and no time, therefore I am important and good enough” or “if I admit to needing time for myself, I am not strong enough”. Because being selfish is bad.
Now, I agree being selfish IS bad. When you feel selfish, or acting selfish, it means something is unbalanced in your life. It means you have got some stuff you need to deal with. Selfish is when your insides have boiled over and you desperately snatch at anything to take the edge off, and often at the expense of the people you love. It’s a bad thing, it’s a bad word, it hurts you and the people around you, there is nothing good about being selfish.
But…self-care? Well that is the complete opposite of selfish. It’s what is absolutely necessary to have a healthy, full life, benefiting you and everyone else. There needs to be intentional, deliberate, daily habits worked into your life to not only keep yourself from imploding, but to lead an abundant life. And it’s really the only way you will be truly effective and successful in your responsibilities and relationships.
Here are a few quick things to start you on the road to self-care.
Take a few minutes in the morning to set personal goals you would like to achieve for the day. End your day with evaluating what went right and what could use some work.
Time for fun
There needs to be time in the day to breathe. Whether it’s a bath, reading a book, chatting with a friend or all of the above. Start out with just half an hour. Every single day.
Tend to your body
Commit to keeping a meal journal for a month to get a handle on your health, and give at least 15 minutes a day to being active.
These few self-care habits, done everyday, will save you from acting out in selfishness. Practice these and you will be on the road to thriving in all areas if your life.
Looking back, there was a very specific time in my life that getting a life coach was the right move for me to make. Years before I made the decision to seek one out, I had been through some time with a therapist and worked through a lot of head things because of some tough circumstances in my life. After, I had reached a point of “well…now what?”. I wanted there to be a way to use all of my good and bad experiences but I felt just…stuck. I didn’t know what to do but I knew I wanted to do something.
I was ready for a change in a big way.
Going through the whole process myself, there are a few things that I look for in women before agreeing to be their Life coach.
Open to change
The first step to being able to change is recognizing there is actually something TO change in your life. This means that there is a priority of ownership that needs to happen inside you.
Willing to be transparent
Not being genuine is such a hinderance for your heart…being honest with me is only going to help you do better through this experience. Transparency needs to be practiced, and learning to do this with me will help you to this with others.
Ready to get serious
This would not be the time to get lazy. There is going to be work. You need to stick to the agreed upon plan we create together for your life. Whether it be eating well, exercising, writing, reading, getting solitude, etc. Also, you always need to be prepared for our next conversation.
Do you live in the mundane? Is it hard for you to live fully in unhindered joy? Are you convinced that this is just how life is and nothing will change?
I take women through a journey to find the depths of themselves and walk them through living life intentionally, overcoming and thriving in being their best self.
So I realize there may be some misconceptions of what a Life coach actually does and I wanted to clear that up a bit, hence this post.
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t exactly certain what a Life coach did until I was sitting across from one at a coffee shop…as I spilled all of my dreams and hang ups all over her. After she took it all in and took all her notes, she looked at me and said “You are going to do big things. We just gotta throw some elbows to get the space to make all the things happen. Let’s get to work.”
And that’s basically it. I’m here to point out the best in you that you may not be seeing…and I help you see it. Cause when you see it…everybody needs to hold on to their seats.
It’s work for the both of us. It’s deciding and planning to bring daily habits into your life that you need to make room for despite “everything else you HAVE to do.”
It’s giving up things that might even be good things, but are hindering you at this moment in your life.
And I’m right there with you. I’m here, committing to make a positive impact in your life. I am here to be 100% honest with you, listen intently, keep you on track, and help in anyway possible.
Here are some points for a better grasp of what a Life Coach does.
I am not your therapist but I will suggest one if I see that is something you need in your life. There are some brain things that, although I understand it, I am just not equipped to help fix. My time in therapy was so crucial to who I am now that I actually hope everyone would look into it for at least a season. Sometimes I’ll even suggest a client go to a therapist before I start a Life Coaching journey with them.
I do not advise you to stop or start medication. But I will absolutely suggest you go have a conversation with your doctor if you are questioning what you are or are not taking. I’ve had my seasons of taking things to help bring down anxiety through particular rough patches and I am not opposed to anyone getting the right kind of help. Aside from what your doctor and you agree on, I will also talk to you about essential oils, vitamins, and other healthy stuff that can contribute to your overall well-being.
I won’t be up until 4am talking to you on the phone, but I will answer emails and texts as quickly as I can to support you. I will also check in with you myself at least once a week, on top of our two scheduled conversations a month. I am here for you, but to help you…I also need to take care of me. And I need sleep…probably more than I get. Although I keep in contact with my clients and consider them friends, I encourage healthy independence!
Does this sound like someone you need in your life right now? Are you ready for a deeper, more fulfilling life? Are there things you never thought you could overcome?
Now for the exciting part.
There have been countless late nights of work and sighs as I built this thing. The getting things together, setting pages up just right and staring at screens until my eyes cross. It has pulled and stretched me to the brink but now I am finally here to show you this place I’ve created.
Out of all that’s on the web out there, I’ve made a safe place here. This is a community where you have the freedom to be your most raw, truest self. For you to be able to lay out all of your beauty and all of your mess and feel embraced. Accepted. Validated.
Here we love people just as they are. We encourage each other. We help.
Your presence is crucial.
It is going to take us, as a team…to break down walls, dig up strengths, and throw out fears.
There is such a strong need for women to just lay down their defenses. That’s easy, and maybe even a little cliche, to say…but I realized there is a need that goes even deeper. Why do we have these defenses? What is in us that is holding us back from living out our most true, authentic selves? This is where we start. It begins with us.
Here is where I step in and I hope you do too.
I’m living out my dream of holistic life coaching. Of taking women by the hand, helping them overcome all they’ve wanted to get past in order to fully thrive in their strengths. I support them in intentionally building confidence, self-motivation, increasing intuition, examining life-goals, creating positive habits, and finding purpose.
Through all that, I’ll also be writing here…encouraging you to thrive where you are and support you through it. I hope to hear from you as we go along.
There will be plenty more to do and there is much more to come.
Let’s learn how to breathe through it all.